


My Prince

by daynettedaniela



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Sad, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-21 10:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20692340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daynettedaniela/pseuds/daynettedaniela
Summary: After the destruction of Asgard, Heimdall is weakened and loses consciousness.Valkyrie tells Loki that Heimdall has given a lot for someone, Loki wants to know what happens and that secret may change everything the sorcerer thinks.-Something brief chapters-





	1. 1_Heimdall

**Author's Note:**

> I actually write in Spanish, so if you find a grammar mistake, do not hesitate to inform me, thank you very much for reading

The ship was a disaster. People moving from one place to another, disturbed and nervous. Loki passed between them with annoyance, it was worse than being in Sakaar, he just hoped that as the days went by things would calm down and they would take a different course. In the distance he saw a dark back and a hair full of dreadlocks that he recognized instantly.

If he began to think correctly, he didn't always get along with the guardian, after all, he was the only one who didn't usually make a difference between the princes, even when he became Thor's best friend. The problems began when Loki became a rebellious and mischievous teenager, Heimdall slowly pulled away, remaining alone as Thor's friend and confidant.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to extend that little truce that occurred in the Bifrost, when they fought shoulder to shoulder to stop the Ragnarok hovering over them by Hela's hand. Maybe they could start over, and maybe become friends. He wondered if he would be able to accept it after all his mistakes, maybe he could sit on the guardian's sleepless nights and read next to him, as he had done before, when he was a small child hiding from Frigga.

He try to hurry through the crowd, the corridor was narrow to contain them all and allow a free flow of people. He could still see Heimdall's head while elbowing people to make his way, but I miss him something. The brunette had stood in his place, straight, for a moment he thought he had thought out loud, but that thought vanished when the guard staggered and fell among the people. Some released some expletives when they stumbled upon the unconscious body of the brunette, but Loki's firm voice made them step aside and let the sorcerer free passage.

When he reached his body, he realized that something was very wrong, this went beyond a simple faint from fatigue, as he had driven in the first place. While checking his pulse and breathing, which was in perfect condition, Thor arrived, in a quick run after being warned of the fainting of his best friend. Between both brothers they managed to lift it, with effort still, and they took it. Fortunately, the room of the healers was not very far from that corridor, and upon entering it was immediately attended, being easily lifted by Valkyrie, as if it would not weigh nor gram, and deposited on a steel stretcher gently. Then I miss them without hesitation.

\- × -

Two hours passed. Thor had not moved from the wall in front of the room, Loki was constantly coming and going, addressing some problems of the crew, commanded by Thor. The blond moved his foot impatiently when Valkyrie left the interior, just as Loki returned. Thor stood up and Loki hurried over.

-Heimdall is not yet awake.

-That because?

—It may be something related to his age and the time he has remained linked to Asgard, he is not a common citizen, his bond was even stronger. He has given a lot for Asgard.

-I want to see him.

-I must tell you that this is not an available option, my king, he must rest, when we wake up we will let him know. We will also try to counter this.

Thor was uneasy, but nodded and left, knowing it was not useful there. Loki also took the initiative to leave but Valkyrie's hand gripping her wrist prevented her from moving. When Thor lost sight of her, she looked at him.

-What Heimdall has is not because of his liaison with Asgard.

-So what is it? Why did you lie to Thor?

-Because it's a secret and you're the only one who can know.

-What's wrong with him?

-Go to his room, look for a leather bag, there you will find the answer you need, I'm afraid I don't know exactly what's wrong with him, but you'll find the answer there. He also gave a lot for someone else, he did something he shouldn't have.

Loki watched as Valkyrie released him and re-entered the room. He stayed there, confused and upset by the whole situation, but he preferred to move and seek the answer the brunette had told him.


	2. 2_Sheet 1

Loki entered Heimdall's room in the ship, there was a bed on the side, a small dresser with a mirror and a chair by the window. The Bifrost's sword lay on the dresser. Loki knew he had to look, but he didn't know where he could be. I look first in the dresser, but was surprised to see that there were only two pairs of leather pants and two leather shirts as well. Thor had given them to Heimdall when they were on the ship already, when he distributed clothes and various foods among the people. Apparently the guardian had nothing else. Then he went to the bed and undid her looking for the leather bag, but nothing found. The same with the bedside table that was next to the bed, there was only a pen and ink.

Just when he resigned and decided to go back to Valkyrie, he looked at the chair. In it was a black leather bag, which at first confused with the upholstery of the chair. He approached and took it, sitting down. Inside it were papers, many papers, but looking closely at them he saw that they were in a particular order, each one had a number in the upper corner and they were ordered according to them. Loki took the first paper, which was marked with a "1" and so he knew it was the first, crossed his legs, leaving the rest of the papers on his lap and began to read. He had never seen the lyrics of Heimdall, his calligraphy was perfect, elegant, neat and methodical, simple to read.

**"I don't know why I do this. Well yes, if I know. A few hours ago I talked to my sister, keep drinking like there's no tomorrow, keep working for that sadistic and despicable dictator. Grand Master calls you, so humble."**

Loki blinked a lot looking out the window, not really looking. _Was Valkyrie his sister? I should have suspected._ He resumed reading, trying not to get distracted.

**"Brunilda says not to get me into her business, that being a collector distracts her. I know why she does it, I am grateful that Odin realized that Hela was overcoming her power, and I know that my sister, too, after all , he never liked the commitment my parents arranged to marry Hela. On the other hand, we both hate that part of our life, where Hela killed the Valkyries, that time where I thought I had lost Brunilda and she was bitter for losing to his girl. It was lucky to find her alive.**

**But I am not writing for that. I talked to Brunilda and told him I had a problem, a problem I couldn't talk to him like that, fearing Odin would listen to me. What would he think if he found out? Surely I would be dismissed and I would be exiled from Asgard. It is not exactly a betrayal but ... it would surely enrage him. She told me to write, write what I feel. And here I am, apparently writing a monologue. I feel very silly doing this, but my sister warned me, so I will continue.**

**My problem? My problem is a meandering body, a spell that has captivated me. It's wrong, totally wrong, I know but I can't help it. She is too intelligent, her beauty is incomparable, even her laugh is beautiful. Surely Brunilda would kill me if he found out about this. I always see him, my eyes always escape him and it is painful, it is very painful. He would never see me beyond what I am, I know when he looks at me.**

**In part I am afraid, afraid that this is more than a simple attraction. Fear because he is my enemy, so he has been destined and rarely fate can be broken. Fear because it is a trickster snake, which has not yet released its poison. Afraid because I don't know what I would do if he found out, would he hit me? Would he run away from me and ignore me for the rest of eternity? I will kill me? Would you try to use me for your benefit?**

**I do not know, I do not know. I'm afraid to admit something that I can't let go of the wind, I wish it was as simple as opening the Bifrost and freeing it to its fate, that another idiot takes care of these feelings for him. "**

Loki was confused, who would that text talk about? Since when did Heimdall have ... feelings? Since when did Heimdall feel fear and how did he ever realize that it felt? Certainly, I don't always pay attention to the guardian, relegating him to that position and nothing else.


	3. 3_Sheet 2

Loki took the following text, the "2" marked with the elegant black ink. The paper was somewhat worn, but not enough to break, the former was a little older, he realized.  
  
**"Some time has passed since I wrote the other sheet, sincerely I thought I would not do it again but here I am, sitting on the Bifrost platform writing again. I feel very frustrated.**  
  
**He, he is going to be my downfall. I think he has noticed my estrangement and has also taken his. Then I was right, he only sees me as a guardian, a kind of statue that only takes care of opening the bridge. I think it's better that way, I say, it would be complicated if he felt the same as me. I've seen it grow, by the nornas! Why did I have to look at him?**  
  
**I feel a little ... disgusting. I saw him get to Asgard, I saw him in his mother's arms, I saw him run with his brother and now ... now ... now I can't take my eyes off him. Now I feel the need to see his bright eyes on me, I feel the need to kiss his lips. Why? I feel like a ... What do the Midgardians call it? I just heard it. Pedophile, that's what people who are attracted to children are called. Certainly, he is no longer a child, but I could be his father. I met his grandfather, although he was still a child when he died.**  
  
**How did Bragi do to marry Idunn without conscientious remorse for seeing her born? I don't understand that, I never question it but now I do. It's not like I'm in their position, they both love each other and it's something I can't have. He was born a millennium after me, hell!**  
  
**Odin informed me that tomorrow will be the coronation of Thor, I'm sure he will be there, rather, the only one in all Asgard who has permission to not be there is me, and that is only for the position I occupy, but I must be Seeing the coronation, Odin asked. It's something I would be doing even if they didn't ask me, it's an important moment for Thor and being his friend is also for me, and also for all Asgard. Even if Thor was not my friend, he will be there, surely dazzling as always, although no one recognizes him, I know that bothers him and hurts, his eyes always look grudgingly towards others.**  
  
**I haven't slept in a while, but last time I dreamed about him. It was not a very long dream, it is not like I slept so much, only five minutes each long time. But I reach for it to appear in my dream, I didn't do much more than observe and hold my hand. It looked as beautiful as ever, every day seems to look more beautiful. I don't know if I really want to dream about him again, I think that weakens me a little, and that's something I can't allow. My duty to Asgard is before any feeling, and lately I have noticed it strangely calm, silent, without playing any of his jokes. I hope it's just a bad feeling on my part and doesn't ruin your brother's happiness. "**  
  
Loki did not understand anything, he did not understand why Heimdall had so much mystery in writing, as if what he felt was forbidden. And even if it were, why? Almost no one went to Bifrost, much less entered the adjacent room, belonging to the guardian. His brow was so frowned that his eyebrows probably looked like one. I leave the sheet to take the next one. Who would be the man who had captivated the guardian's heart?


	4. 4_Sheet 3

He took the "3" between his pale and stylized fingers.  
  
**"Well, it is obvious that I did not expect to write so soon. I had to ask Hogun to bring this from the Bifrost, and he came here just before it was destroyed. The way he looks at me is suspicious, as if he knew something, did he? Could he have read the leaves? Will he know who he is? No, Hogun would not do that, so I asked him, he is the only one who can bear the curiosity and swallow it.**  
  
**Where do I begin? My heart is broken. This day was fatal, I feared for Thor, he is a strong man, but he is very impetuous, or at least he was, he seems to have changed, from what I saw, a young woman changed him. I hope that is for good. My other prince is missing, Odin considers him dead, but I don't want to believe he is dead. I looked for him, I looked for him for hours but I didn't find him, it was then that I returned to the palace, where they assigned me a room. Not that I need it, but the healer insists on what I should rest, even if I don't sleep.**  
  
**I don't know how many times I've sighed since they brought me here, I'm still thinking about him. It was so hard for me to realize that it was he, he was the traitor, who brought the giants. I had to face it, hell I had to do it, it hurt every damn second, but I think he didn't notice. He was focused on his own pain, a lifetime in a lie, how hard is that? He confused my pain by suspecting and discovering it with resistance, in a way it was, but not completely. If I had thought instead of feeling so much anger, I would have been more cunning, I would not have faced it, I would have controlled my sword, with which I intended to hurt it to stop it. Stop it to prevent it from ruining your life.**  
  
**Odin, how much more are you going to be wrong? First Hela, then he. How do you not see its value as I see it? Like you, my king, I saw him being a jotun baby. But his fear could more, that cost expensive error. Why don't you see the pain that your stubbornness has infringed on you? I told him before, he should not make a difference between them if he intended to raise him as a son. And he replied that he could not speak, he was not a father to give advice. Frigga thought so too, he ignored you, sir, but she did the right thing even when you disagreed, fearing she would become one of them. Surprise, he found what he wanted to avoid.**  
  
**In spite of everything I can't help feeling this burning in my chest. When I freeze, I saw it in its true form, I don't know which of the two forms is the most beautiful. Who would think I fell in love with an ice giant? Because that's right, at the ceremony I couldn't stop looking at him, not even while Thor swore, I know he felt my gaze, he was constantly changing his weight. It looked so beautiful, like those flowers that grow in Vanaheim only once, in the snow, it lasts one day because of the icy wind, but if you rescue it and protect it, it gives it the heat, it can last until the next winter, or maybe more.**  
  
**Today I overcame that fear, that of accepting what I was feeling, because I realized that despite this I can continue in my position, I can continue firmly, being the guardian that I usually am. When I'm alone and Odin's crows aren't hovering, I can afford to let my mind fly, always towards him. I love him, in pain, because he is my enemy. I love him, as he is, I understand him but I understand my duty.**  
  
**I love him, I love him, I love you, Loki. "**  
  
A gasp cut the silence, then the sound of the paper spreading on the floor. The raven's eyes were wide open. His mind couldn't stop, he was confused, surprised. _What? Heimdall loved me? Does Heimdall love me? Is that why he moved away from me?_  
  
Loki didn't know what to think, his hands were on his lap now empty, clenched into fists. He wasn't upset, he was surprised, he didn't know what to think. He never imagine anything of that magnitude. Even so, that still did not explain the state of the guardian. One of his hands slid through black hair, pulling him back. He had to continue reading.   



	5. 5_Sheet 4

He stirred the papers, trying to align them. It was obvious to him that they were not order, not now, but he didn't care. He was nervous, he didn't know why but his hands kept shaking and his heart continued to pound. He couldn't calm down, why? Illogical.  
  
He managed to gather all the papers and got up, heading to the bed almost intact. He took his time to sit down and settle down, breathing as slowly as he could, managing to calm his nerves slightly. Passing his fingers between the leaves, he looks for the one that was marked with a "4", with the characteristic elegant stroke of Heimdall.  
  
**"I knew he was not dead, I knew it. Odin believed it, Thor believed it, my queen Frigga believed it, I saw it collapsed because of that. But now I saw it again, I found it. It looked so bad, what happened to it? ? His hair grew, he clearly no longer has servants to cut it, but he looks sick, thinner than before. The worrying dark circles under his eyes, and the eternal rage in them, hatred increased. "**  
  
Loki felt a chill remembering the torture Thanos gave him, how he felt his body disarm and arm again. The days he left without food or water, until he was about to faint. The blows on the open wounds of previous blows. He put his hand inside the top of his suit and felt the scars on his abdomen, of what Thanos had done and promised to be only the beginning if he failed. If he had asked for help at that time, would Heimdall have heard his call? No, he would not have seen it, because Thanos forced him to hide with his magic. He focused on the blade again, trying to push those memories away.  
  
**"He has one gem of the infinite and goes for another. This is not good, the last time, when the heavenly controlled the gems, it was disastrous what happened. But Odin preferred to hide it, once again. He thinks that hiding will prevent something from happening. .**  
  
**I want to admire him a little more before alerting Odin, I know it's my duty but I can delay him a little. It is beautiful, my heart does not fit to find it again. So far he has done nothing but threaten and steal the tesreact, not unlike Odin with Jotunheim, but I know he will do more. Can I ever tell him that I missed him? No I dont think so. If one day I run the risk of using it against me, I will not weaken again in front of him.**  
  
**Sometimes he is paralyzed for a moment, then he shakes violently, as if returning from a trance. My prince, what have they done to you? Why? Nothing takes away your beauty, but that sick expression is not yours, you could be cruel, but this goes further, I see fear, I see pain. What have you done, my prince? If your path is still this, I see nothing but bad fortune and suffering in your life, I am not Skuld or any of the other two nornas to know exactly, but I do not need it either.**  
  
**I don't want to think about who could hurt you, your beautiful face, who would want to see him bathed in fear? You would think Odin, but he doesn't want it either, just that he was wrong. I wonder if he really saw you for what you are, not for your origin. I wonder what he saw that day, when you were still an innocent child, curled up next to your pony inside the Bifrost, both asleep on the floor. I remember that I had to cover you with a blanket, fearing that the cold will reveal your real skin, of course, that never happened.**  
  
**If he knew what his mistakes were going to cause, would he avoid it? Surely the nornas warned him and that's why he made the decisions he made. Always wrong, without listening to anyone but him. Stubborn fool. I could blame him for the state of my prince, but it is also his fault, even when I fully understand it.**  
  
**I have already warned Odin, he has already sent Thor. I hope it doesn't take long to get you back, get away from that, I know that coming back will do you good, even if Odin locks you up. I don't think his heart is so cold to execute you. And if it does? What will I do? I hope you ask for my advice at least, to try to help from my supposedly impartial point.**  
  
**Ah, Loki, you deform things, was that what they did to you? I hear how you tell Thor that he threw you into the void, that he betrayed you, that you should be king, when everything was turned upside down. You were the traitor, you were the one who was released, it was you who removed the rightful heir from the throne. But I already said it, the fault is not only yours, perhaps also of Odin, of Frigga, of me, for not telling you the truth, for scaring you with stories where the ice giants were ruthless beings, you ended up discovering that you are one, thinking and stating that you are a monster**  
  
**But you are not, is he a monster as cunning as my prince? Can you be a monster able to sit on your bed and spend hours, days, reading books without stopping? A monster is never as beautiful, as intelligent and skilled as you, you can be an ice giant, a repudiated by your royal father, mocked by the Asgardians, you can be for them what they want. But it's not like that, you're not a monster, even when you kill so many people just for fun, I only see spite and resentment in your actions and I feel that Thor sees it too. Thor believes in you, and I am obligated not to believe in you, but deep down I always will. **  
  
** I think someone should have given you the opportunity, some should have believed in you before, someone not as dumb as Thor. You could have done great things if only Odin had heard Frigga once. "**  
  
Loki smiled as he stroked the writing of his name on paper. _And I thought I was alone._


	6. 6_Sheet 5

He had few leaves left, he realized. He counted them and realized there were only four. And he still didn't find the cause of Heimdall's evil. His mouth twisted in an annoyed grimace, now he felt flattered, dear, and a warm warmth in his chest bloomed. He shook his head to concentrate, and looked for the next sheet, sheet "5".  
  
**"It's strange, I always worry about recovering this. In fact, since the destruction of the Bifrost I have decided to leave it inside my armor. Again the same question, where do I start? It was two long and very distressing days.**  
  
**Loki returned, annoyed and furious, I think that if he didn't have that protecting his mouth, he would have bitten Thor. "**  
  
Loki laughed, because as soon as he arrived in Asgard that was his first intention.  
  
**"Far from the staff, his dark circles began to disappear, the teseract was still close to him, so it was the fault of the other gem. He seemed confused as well, as if the ideas were sorted in his mind. Hating Odin, as usual, being sarcastic and arrogant, as always. It's good to see it that way, being him again.**  
  
**I appreciate that Odin asked for my opinion before talking to him, Frigga and I suffered a shudder when he said he deserved the death penalty. My queen remained stoic and Odin knew that was worse than her anger and pain. I had never manipulated someone, much less the king, but this time I did, how is Loki changing me?**  
  
**My queen Frigga ... died honorably, Sif blamed Thor's mortal, I blame Malekith, although I understand why Sif blames her. He hates her because he stole Thor's attention, although he never had her, he hates her because he considers her inferior, illusory, a whim Thor has taken. My queen, sadness is incalculable, I saw the funeral from the Bifrost, she was so good, so jovial, I always saw her the same, even when she was younger, always with her sweet smile and her soothing words, often used to try to manipulate, others to reassure. It was a low blow for all Asgard, no doubt, nobody who thought of my queen would want to kill her. Only an enemy would be capable of such sacrilege, and his punishment must be blood.**  
  
**Odin was collapsed, weakened. Thor gave justice to the death of the Mother of everything, but perhaps it was a mistake to trust Loki. Although we already knew it, he would betray us. I couldn't tell Odin, I would certainly kill him, I didn't want to let myself be imprisoned, I didn't betray Loki, maybe Thor and Asgard. I have hidden in an old shelter in the mountains, built by Bor's father, for any emergency. I know why Loki has accused me of treason, he needs to make sure nobody alerts and brings Thor back.**  
  
**If you only knew, Loki, that you have me at your feet, I don't know what disasters you would cause me for a little of your love, false love would be then I believe. If you only knew how much I die from the poison of your lips, my snake, you would kiss me relentlessly, until I was fed up with your cruelty. If you knew how much you condemn me with your body, your stealthy, elegant, deadly movements ... you would kill me of the pleasure of seeing your naked body, of seeing your reaction to my touches and my kisses, of feeling that we are only one, when your fangs are stuck in my heart, chaining me to you, making me obey more than willing.**  
  
**I have to do something to get you out of my mind, I must find a way to do it. Perhaps the books that furnish this old room will help me find an answer. Because I still love you, my prince. "**  
  
The emerald eyes were clouded with tears, he was right, at that moment, if he had known, he would have used and manipulated it at will, however he did not understand why it hurt now.


	7. 7_Sheet 6

The brunette took the next page, ready to find the answer to Heimdall's condition, feeling it even deeper inside.

**"I was examining the shelter books for several days, there was not much else to do. I don't feel the need to eat, although I did take a bath in the spring lost in the forest. I took my time to meet certain needs that I felt in the moment, even when I spent hours and hours reading books, my view was diverted to the palace, only when Loki was inside his rooms and dropped the facade of Odin.**

**That just made me look more frenzied, I have to get this out of my mind, for Asgard's sake, for my sake. I must be aware, now that Loki exiled Odin, there are many more possibilities of his death, and I cannot allow Hela to hurt everyone ... or him. I have found a lot of spell books that I am sure he would be fascinated, I was once tempted to go there, before, when he was just an apprentice, knowing that there were old books, with deep secrets that would surely keep him days with His nose sunk between the leaves. Maybe I should have done it, maybe not.**

**I found something. A story, a story about Idunn's apples, and his power over youth, over eternity. A story where they tell the envy of Farbauti, who entered Asgard through the forest, only to ruin the fruits of the goddess, who stopped her before half of the tree was ruined by the cold of the jotun. Using my sight I could verify its existence. History says that the fruit fulfills any desire, although I suppose there must be a price, which to pay in exchange for that.**

**I did not care. I don't care if it was a day away. I don't care about anything at all, because something I had to do about this. I went and I am still the guardian of the nine worlds, my duty is to protect, although I no longer have control of the Bifrost.**

**I walked through the great mountains of rocks, to the other side of them, Idunn's wide greenish meadows are difficult to cross, they have spells, even those spells have spells. The trees of Idunn extend in the end, those of the big and golden apples surpassed those that had black fruits and little appetizing in sight.**

**Bragi was the one who greeted me jovially, promising me a place in his hut for as long as I needed, then I joke, saying he didn't want his pregnant wife after three days. Those stories of Midgardians sometimes make me want to disappear. Idunn and Bragi always seemed to have a smile on their face and a reason to wear it.**

**Finally, Idunn took me to one of the infected trees. He warned me that while they fulfilled the greatest desire, it also had a harmful effect, it depended on the desire. It doesn't matter, it's what I should do.**

**Now I am sitting in the dark, the night has covered the valley of Idunn with its mantle. I do nothing but think and look at it. Why do I punish myself that way? Spying on something that will never be mine. I tell myself that I am watching his actions, for Asgard's well-being, but it's a lie and I know it. I sigh once more and turn the apple in my hands again. I haven't bitten her yet, I'm meditating.**

**It's a risky thing, but I must do it, now more than ever, for Asgard's sake. I never imagined in this situation, I am confused by everything that has happened, what I have done or not. I remember the jealousy I felt when he told her that the mortal was pretty, or when Fandral started to flirt with him. I am an ancient being, I should not suffer for these things. And it hurts every moment, it's like I put salt on open wounds. It hurts his indifference towards me, it hurts how much he is making mistakes, my desire to kiss him and hug him hurts, to relieve my pain and his, it hurts to imagine that I can show him how valuable it is to me.**

**I will allow myself to think about him one more time, then I will decide. "**

He realized that Heimdall had been desperate, he no longer wanted to afford the mistakes he had for his crush. Loki had made him suffer, without even looking for it, or thinking about it. I leave sheet "6" and took the next one.


	8. 8_Sheet 7

**"Skuld appeared before me, today. He was in the forest, watching for possible threats when she appeared. He was direct, said he would die if he looked at him again. For a moment I thought it was a threat but then I understood. He said if he came back to develop feelings for him, if my feelings bloomed again, the magic of Farbauti's apple would kill me. And he predicted that they would do it when he no longer hid from me with his magic. I have to avoid looking at him, for the first time in a long time I feel good, I have brought new families to the shelter, I am protecting my people as I always should have done, I am willing to give my life for the mistake I made in the past.**

**I don't even want to think about him, it would be counterproductive, I think. My name is Thor, where are you? What a terrible coincidence, Sakaar. I wonder if you found Brunilda, surely she found you. I don't have time to think too much, I need you to come, Thor, as soon as possible. I will continue to rescue Asgardians. After bringing more Asgardians to the shelter, I observed again. Time goes by very fast in Sakaar, you walk somewhere but I avoid seeing your company. You tell him they have to talk and he replies that this is not the strong point of your family. His single voice moves something inside me, I'm afraid of feeling something wrong. Got damn! I know I swear to protect them both but I can't see Loki again, no. I tell you just, as if it were a voice from your mind, that you don't bring Loki, that Sakaar is perfect for him. For some reason you listen to me, I still refuse to look at it.**

**My attention went a few minutes, to see what a family was asking me. When I returned, you were no longer in the elevator, nor in the hall of ships. Damn it, I saw it! Panting as electricity ran through his body, moving like an eel. I looked away as soon as I could but it was too late, too late. I also see Hela, threatening Asgard with death in Fenrir's mouth if they don't tell her where the sword is. I always hated that dog and I think he tried to devour me more than once, although I defended myself and Hela appeared before we found out which of the two would survive. I prefer to concentrate on that in the pain that begins to eat me while the feelings return to my chest. I want to cry, but I can't, I can't do it, I'm lost. I have to stay strong and imperturbable.**

**I look at Thor again, I look for him until he finds him. He and Brunilda are about to enter the portal, they will be here soon, very soon. I watch Loki, now he's on a ship, are you coming? Will you fight with us or with her? I want you to fight alongside me, for Asgard, for yourself. I feel something is approaching and I know exactly what. I must get the Asgardians out of the shelter, before Hela knocks him down "**

That explained many things; because the ink was confused, the lyrics a bit messy, because Heimdall looked at him with complicity when he arrived, the meaning of his words changed at that moment, but only Heimdall would know what he meant. It had been logical for Loki that Heimdall had seen him, he had not hidden himself, but for the guardian it was disastrous.

He was dying because of him too. The seventh sheet explained everything, but it was necessary to read the others to understand. Loki knew that the effects of Idunn's apples had no return or was extremely dangerous, the affected Farbauti apples should be the same. Heimdall was going to die anyway and Loki could do nothing.


	9. 9_Sheet 8

The last sheet was no longer elegant, not completely. There were two different calligraphies. One covered most of the sheet and the other was behind, like a small note.  
  
**"I feel my body on fire, it is not normal, it is not normal. My chest burns as if it were the place where Surtur stuck his sword of fire, then expands all over my body. I can hardly breathe a little. Brunilda just left I told her the whole truth. It was a moment of hitting me, I know I was an idiot, but she understood why I did it, at least I think so. She gave me a potion, which would control my symptoms, in order to feel less pain I love my sister, I know she, too, would not have stayed here almost all night.**  
  
**My eyesight chases him, he observes it and I can't refuse, I can't and I don't want to. He looks calm, after many years, he looks at peace while he sleeps. His journey throughout the universe did not make him lose his hobbies, he has fallen asleep on a Xandarian book. It looks so beautiful, it seems that over time it can only make you more beautiful, and smarter. While sleeping he looks calm, but I'm glad when he is awake and I no longer see that sadness in his eyes, nor that anger. Thor told me that Odin told them that he loved them and Loki was speechless, I understand. Odin was not exactly the most sentimental man, not even with Frigga. But I think that heals your heart, at least one part.**  
  
**Loki, I hope you don't bother one day with everything you did in the past, Loki, we all make mistakes. Loki, my prince, my beautiful prince, as unattainable as I always imagined, I saw the hug with your brother and I saw your happiness, but I never expected you to appear unexpectedly and hug me. I know why you did it, it was in gratitude, I know, but I still can't take the feeling of your body against mine, nor forget the smell of your hair.**  
  
**You started again, Asgard recognizes you as his savior, now they esteem you, as you deserve. Now they see you for who you are and not for who your father is. I would like to be on this new path that you have chosen, but I know I will not, I made a mistake trying to amend another mistake that I could not control. Two days have passed and I feel that my forces weaken, I doubt I can reach the earth. Thor said she's beautiful, but compared to you, I'm sure she can barely reach your calf. I'm not the best in words, I don't know how to express how you stole my heart for the second time and that it will belong to you forever.**  
  
**Love for me always seemed unnecessary, I always stayed in the Bifrost and played it down, I thought that living like the rest of the Asgardians was illogical. I always felt that love was something absurd, that there was nothing better than the stars, eternal blinking at a distance. You put all my thinking upside down and made me want to be like everyone else, so I could have some of your love. Maybe I don't deserve it and that's why this series of tragic events condemned me like that.**  
  
**I would like to tell you at least once, how much I love you, even if I don't find the words to describe everything you provoke in me, you always thought that Thor was the sun that lit Asgard, you always thought you were relegated to being a star in the sky. Loki, you're my sun, even if I don't show it to you, even though it always seemed like I couldn't stand you, I was just trying to get away to forget you, but I never could. I felt like dying when you fell from Bifrost, when I couldn't find you.**  
  
**I doubt I can tell you that I love you madly, yet I will try to do it tomorrow, I feel my days go out. "**  
  
**"This damn Loko may be an idiot, but something my brother saw in him. The point of courage in him is mixed with his arrogance but ... my brother is not a fool, he would not fall so cruelly in love with someone for no reason, I am sure that If I ask you, you will answer me.**  
  
**I returned after a while to check his condition and was asleep, with this sheet next to him. I hate Loki, but he loves him, and if he doesn't tell her I will.**  
  
**Brunilda "**  
  
Loki summoned a sheet and a pen, stood by the dresser and, resting the paper on it, began to write.


	10. 10_Heimdall again

-Brunilda, leave me.

-I left you?" Are you crazy? You can't get up now, you're sick

-Didn't you understand that I'm going to die anyway?

-I will find a solution.

—The only way to stop this is to look for Dormammu or his niece, and that will take at least a week, I don't have much time to live. Thanos is coming, I must go by my sword, I must protect Asgard and die if necessary.

-Heimdall ...

The brunette did not listen, just got out of bed and left the room of healers quickly, Valkyrie left behind him. He didn't know if Loki was still in his brother's room, he had seen him with Thor but as soon as Thor ran out when he saw the ship that was in the way, to communicate and know the problem, Loki disappeared, proving that it was just an illusion. The real one should continue in the guardian's quarters.

-Go and have people board another ship, take them away from here.-A shot from the enemy ship struck the Asgardians' ship. -Now, Brunilda!

Valkyrie followed the order immediately, heading to the opposite direction to which his brother was going. Just wake up after three hours and is already boss, typical. Heimdall finally arrived at his room and was surprised to open the door. Loki was there, back to the entrance, on his dresser. On the bed were the sheets he had written for years, neat, barely sticking out of the leather bag. Loki put down the pen in his hand and turned around, staring into his eyes as he picked up the bag from the bed and approached him.

-Loki ...

-Heimdall, I'm sorry.

-Why? What are you talking about?

-I read this,- he said, shaking the bag and then keeping his own sheet inside, -Valkyrie told me to do it, I'm sorry I made you suffer so much.

-Prince, you don't ...

-I know I did it, and I would say that if you had told me it would have been different, but it would only have been worse, because you were right, I would have used you.

Heimdall was speechless, for the first time in many centuries. Loki didn't give him the bag, he didn't ask for it either. The sorcerer made the Bifrost sword appear in his left hand and handed it to the guardian. He took it and stood a moment watching the raven, after a new shot hit the ship turned to leave.

-Guardian…

-What happens,- Heimdall asked as he turned again, now to Loki ...

The sorcerer sealed his lips with his own, without letting it end, he didn't know why he wanted to do it, he felt that he was dying of thirst and the brunette's mouth was the only source capable of quenching his thirst. The guardian delayed in responding, surprised by the action but as soon as he did Loki pushed him back until he hit the wall roughly, but he didn't feel the pain. He only felt as Loki devoured his mouth fiercely, with overflowing passion, as if he wanted to join their mouths until they were one and never separate.

One of Heimdall's hands hugged him by the waist, while the other was lost in the thick black hair of his prince. His thin hands touched his face with love, outlining his beard, his jaw, his eyes, everything he was able to touch, as his was the first time he met him. When they finally broke up, Loki still held his forehead against his. They both gasped at the intensity of the messy kiss and the brunette's hands still didn't peel from him.

-I love you,-he whispered breathlessly, -do you love me?

-I think so,-he whispered the same in response.

-That is enough for me,-he replied, smiling and pushing him slightly, separating them, and then leaving the room, ready to battle.


	11. Thanos

**"For starters, I'm not Asgardian, and besides, we have a Hulk"**  
  
When Hulk was thrown, Heimdall decided. When Thor was kicked away after hitting the titan there was no doubt. He knew he could not get up, could not defend his king, or his prince. Thor thought that the look was directed at him, but no, he went to the shadow behind him, the one who was taking refuge, the emerald eyes that watched in horror what was coming, it was a moment, he saw him shake his head, asking him to I didn't do it. He only gave him a look, asking for his forgiveness and he did, gathering his last strength to achieve it.  
  
**"Fathers of everything ... that dark magic flows in me one last time ..."**  
  
A look was now directed at Thor, the titan was going to kill him, even if it wasn't fair. He also apologized to his king, then looked at his murderer, as he prepared to sink his spear firmly into his chest. No, that would not be his last image, he refused to do so. He let his gaze move forward without moving his eyes, he didn't need it, and he saw his prince, looking at him from the shadows, wanted to convey his peace of mind, soothe his face. A sigh was what he needed to go to Valhalla in peace, a breathless "I love you" was everything, he stole the life of his eyes and his body.  
  
**"You're going to die for that!"**  
  
Loki took his eyes off the guardian's body to see his brother, slowly moved in the dark, watching the scene cautiously. Watching as the space gem entered its slot and Thanos grew stronger. he didn't know what you were doing, he didn't know what he was saying. Offering his help to him, how did he come up with it? No, he did not think about it, it was his instinct speaking for him, he did not know if his survival instinct or that of revenge, both were innate in his being.  
  
he advanced, ideas didn't even form in his mind. Was he in shock or was he in another state? He felt golden eyes on him, _Impossible_. he looked at Thor, trying to convince himself that this was for him. A dagger appeared in his hand, too small for revenge. Another step, he offered his eternal gratitude after presenting himself as Mother had taught him what was done during the promises. he heard a voice speaking to him, "Stop, Loki, stop", no, he wasn't going to stop, he couldn't even do it if he wanted to. Raising his arm, he was caught before he could even touch his skin. He couldn't think beyond seeing his eyes in his mind, his voice crying for him, saying he was still young to die. Father had heard Frigga, he listened to his guardian.  
  
The lack of air made him come back to himself, his body responded before his mind could process. He was killing him. _It's the end_. He looked at the titan in front of him and felt sorry for him, if his body was not suffering pain and his feet trying to find the strength to hit the titan, he would have laughed. He coughed barely and used his last breaths to make fun of him.  
  
**"You, you will never be ... a god"**  
  
Thanos did not understand what he meant, he smiled, thinking that the Asgardian was pathetic. Loki knew that he would pay for each one of his mistakes, because no one became a god by his own decision, he would go mad before he got that power. Thanos tightened his neck once more, breaking it with a simple "crack" and then throwing it at Thor's feet.  
  
**"Without resurrections this time"**


	12. 12_Loki's letter

Thor was at the base of the avengers when Valkyrie finally arrived on earth, after thirty days, and an involuntary diversion because Korg was wrong of direction. Valkyrie already knew the news, did not need Thor to tell her, but still let him speak. The king could not help hugging her tightly and shedding tears on her shoulder, there was no way to bring them back, he had killed Thanos but did not give him satisfaction. Watching his brother and his best friend die in front of him was a harder blow than he thought. Now he finished the twelfth beer and remained in the same state, not drunk enough to forget.  
  
Two days passed before Valkyrie got fed up and broke her bottle of a movement, catching his attention.  
  
\- The king of Asgard cannot leave his people held on nothing. You must rule. You owe it to your people, for whom you fought to leave Sakaar.  
  
\- I could not protect my brother, Heimdall, all those who died for Asgard, what kind of king will I be?  
  
\- My brother believed in you, yours too, we all make mistakes.  
  
\- Half of the universe paid for mine, and now there is no way to turn it back, that damn destroyed gems, I can do nothing.  
  
Something hit his face and his gaze moved away from nowhere, where he had spent the last days. He saw a black leather bag now on his lap. he blinked for a moment and then looked at Valkyrie.  
  
\- This was from my brother, Heimdall, maybe it just helps you feel worse, but I think you should read it. If you want you can rot in your misery, but I will try to help Asgard, with or without you— Those words feel so familiar.  
  
\- You are the least suitable person to judge me, do not be hypocritical.  
  
Thor had never been to read, he always got bored easily when he saw some letters together, but Valkyrie said that this was from Heimdall, it was the least he could do. Heimdall his brother? Not that he had lost everything?  
  
he spent hours reading the sheets, just as Loki had once done, surprising himself not knowing some things. Heimdall was his friend, why didn't he tell him? Why didn't he tell her the love he felt for his brother? Maybe because that would call into question his loyalty. Finally I arrive at a strange leaf, with a calligraphy that he recognized right away. Loki had also written something, perhaps after reading what the guardian had said he had awakened something in him.  
  
**"Heimdall, I will no longer call you a guardian, even if you continue to be a guardian. I will not call you that because for many years I did it in a derogatory tone, refusing to recognize you beyond your function. I am really sorry for all that I have done, I have tried to renounce , but it is not enough for the pain that I have made you suffer.**  
  
**Heimdall, you don't deserve my love, you deserve more, even when you have little time left, and that's my fault too. I know you don't blame me, I've understood, but you know it's true.**  
  
**I have no words to express this, it is too early to love you, or maybe not. I am moved by everything you have been, I am moved to learn that you believed in me, that you watched over me when it was not your obligation, when I was your enemy. Maybe I love you already and I haven't noticed.**  
  
**I appreciate you saying nothing, you were wise, I wish I had some of that wisdom in my life. You are great, Heimdall, and your heart is huge, of pure gold, like the one you wore in the armor with which I met you. If I had the time to go with Dormammu I would do it, but I know you would never accept the eternal life that it offers, that stops me from going right now. Although the gentle Clea will help you, you would not accept, since it has a price that even she cannot avoid; being a servant of Dormammu.**  
  
**This is as true as the horns of my helmet, as deep as the universe itself. You are great Heimdall, I admire you for your bravery, in every way. Your loyalty to Asgard, about the veracity of your feelings. I never thought I felt so happy, so loved, for you, for your words. And I would like to give you that, in the little time you have left, to show you my gratitude, the gratitude of my heart upon hearing of your love.**  
  
**I never thought you'll love me, maybe I love you too, but right now I'm confused by everything I've read, everything you've written. If we had more time, you know what would happen.**  
  
**But there isn't, I feel my scars burn, as if they opened against the leather of my clothes. Thanos is coming, Thanos is coming. I imagine you want to fight, you have always been willing to give your life for Asgard, this time will not be the exception, except when you know you have little time left to live. I wonder if giving my life to save yours would pay my debt to you, and I answer no, it wouldn't reach, and it would only cause you more suffering. If we survive Thanos I'll go find Clea, even if you don't want to.**

**I said I wouldn't call you a guardian, but you're my guardian, you've always tried to be one in spite of my decisions. I think your dedication has stolen my heart, so you are guardian of it too. I am excited to know that you saw me about anyone, even about my brother. Your heart chose me, between millions and millions of souls.**  
  
** The words I have read have been tattooed on my soul. It was strange, as I read in my head your voice sounded, as if I had always heard the sweetness and pain in your words, but getting excited to be the first time I discovered your feelings. Heimdall, you must be tired of that aching heart, let me ease your burden for as long as I have left, I don't want you to suffer anymore.**  
  
** You deserve the Valhalla, my guardian. "**  
  
Thor melted into the chair, feeling that those were two lovers to whom fate had played a trick, a bad life. He drank another beer, decided to wait for the pain to pass, for death to come or to find a solution to that ravage that Thanos had caused. Whatever happened first.


End file.
